Complication
by Alias
Summary: Daisuke tells Takeru something, but Takeru refuses to handle it. Takeru/Daisuke partener piece. *shounen ai, language, Takedai, complete*
1. Daisuke

by Alias  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it, won't own it, wish I did. Damn you, episode 50. I'm not going to accept it Toei. Not in a million years.  
  
I thought of maybe changing this to Ken's POV about in the middle, but changed my mind and kept dear Diasuke. Sweet sweet Daisuke. I love writing from his POV.  
  
Haha! New fic from me. This time- dundundun. A Takedai! I haven't even tried this one yet.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I stare at the spot where you just stood. It's empty now, so incredibly empty.  
  
I won't leave for a while, I can't. I just look and see the exact point where my heart was crushed.  
  
How could I be so stupid? How could I ever think that something so bizarre could work?  
  
Gads, my life just sucks. It blows. I hate it, I hate the world. I hate everything.  
  
Except you. I can't hate you, no matter how hard I try.  
  
Do you know how long it took me to get here? All the time, lying in my bed trying to figure out my incredibly fucked-up mind.  
  
My thoughts raced over and over again, thinking of you, trying to forget I love you, trying to push my feelings deep inside. I tried SO hard, every night.  
  
I don't think I've slept in a long time.  
  
Why did I think this would work? Why did I think that you would return my feelings?  
  
God, how could I be gay? Me? The prized soccer star, the leader. Courage, friendship. Pretty meaningless now. I had courage, you crushed it. I had the courage to say to you, I love you. And what did you do? Walked away. You just walked away. Forever. Gone. And friendship, what a laugh. If you were my friend, how could you do what you did?  
  
I thought about this meating over and over again. I thought that the worst thing you could do was say no. Fuck, how wrong I was. This was much worse. You walked away, leaving me right here. It feels like an hour about now. I don't really know. All I know is that the tears still haven't stopped streaming down my face.  
  
It's really dark. I think I said to meet at 8. Now it would be 9. No one is in the park now, they've all gone home. I don't want to go home.  
  
I hope you burn in hell. You could have said no, goddamn you. You could have said yes. You could have taken me up in an elaborate kiss and said that we would live happily ever after. But you walked away.  
  
I still do not know how I could be so stupid. Why did I think that you would be gay? Or even, that you would like me?  
  
I showed you the pictures in my sketch book. Right before you left, that is. I showed the pictures I had drawn of you. The beautiful sketches of you I made from the indemdible impression you have made on my mind.  
  
You almost laughed at them. At least I can be thankful you didn't.  
  
The deep drawings I had made of you. Beautiful, fantastic you. You are a fabulous muse, I should tell you that.  
  
You could see the detail. I made your hair to the exact detail. Without the hat though. You never looked good in that hat.  
  
Correction, you looked great, just like always. But it made you look so ridiculous.  
  
Damn you, Takeru. How could you do that? Just walk away. I can almost see you standing where you were. Before my life spiraled deeper into hell.  
  
You were the only thing I lived for. The only thing I could think about, for a long time. All the agony I went through to admit to myself I loved you. And then admit it to you.  
  
Damn, 3 years of loving you. 3 years of my life, apparantly wasted. Three years of telling myself, 'You'll talk to him tomorrow.'  
  
Sure, we had grown apart a bit, after I started to hit on Hikari less and less. But you didn't move on her. You didn't do anything.  
  
Why is that?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
This is a VERY big, VERY serious fic. TONS of angst. TONS of saddness/depressingness whatever. I am SUPER proud of this one, I reread it and it is SO good. I argue that this is the best I've writen so far. I think all of my comedy is complete crap, but hey, I've never had high self esteem. Ever been to one of those seminars? They have them all the time at my school. I think it's bullshit. Me and my friends just make fun of the guy at the front saying 'love yourselfs'. 


	2. Takeru

Wow. This really just ran away with itself. So must angst you could choke on it. I tend to do that. Just read the author's notes for Family.  
  
I have no idea where this came from. I guess some muse whacked me upside the head. I like my muse. Very blunt. Anybody want to give me a name for my muse? I could use one.  
  
Haha! Takeru's point of view. Yeah, a short one this time. I can't write in Takeru's point of view. So I made up for it with tons of swearing. Ha! I want Dai-chan back.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Damn it. I really do not know why I did that. I did the thing I had not planned to do. I ran.  
  
Why did I run? I was afraid.  
  
So I did what my instincts told me to do. Run.  
  
Why, you may ask? I was scared out of my fucking mind. I had no idea in hell what to do.  
  
It scared the shit out of me, Dai. It scared the shit out of me.  
  
What is it that could scare me this much? You said you loved me.  
  
You showed me all of the pictures you have made of me. You showed me your heart and soul.  
  
It scared the crap out of me, Dai.  
  
Those pictures, I loved them. You had one with my hair all lit up and I had angel wings. I was flying. And there you were on the ground, jumping to try and reach me.  
  
I wish I could have done what you wanted me to. I wish I could have, I just can't. I wish. I wish I could admit to myself the things I can't.  
  
I wish.  
  
I couldn't. I'm scared. I'm so scared, Dai.  
  
I honestly don't know what to do. 


	3. Davis

Delicious swearing. Daisuke's point of view again. I love this little guy.  
  
Ha! Talking to each other, how cute. I like my characters having mental problems.  
  
Dai is such a potty mouth.  
  
I should do more with Dai being deep. I like it.  
  
Oh, and titles are just different names for Dai and Takeru. I didn't know I could think of that many.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
By some miracle of some miracle, I managed to make it home.  
  
I should have gone to Ken's. I already told him anyway. he knows everything. Like always.  
  
He's happy with Miyako. In a normal relationship.  
  
I actually told him to fuck off. I told him everthing about Takeru, then cursed his name. He knows why, to. He didn't care, he just got out of his chair and tried to console me.  
  
He knows that I hate him because he has a normal life. Then he also knows that I am wrong, he has a life more fucked up than mine. But that's the beauty of our relationship, Ken never tells me I am wrong or insults me. He lets me figure it out for myself. And I did. And I apologized a thousand times over for trying to compare my problems to his, and saying mine were worse. So there we were, just a couple of misfits.  
  
It would have been easy to fall for Ken. He's cute, I'll admit that. With that hot little body. I don't love him, far from it. I just think he's hot. And gads, he understands me. So much it scares my fucking mind. It's like he's the intelligent, rational part of me that I don't have, and I'm the fun, irrational part that he's missing. My best friend. God, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him. He's almost like my mind.  
  
He knows full well that I am gay. He knows that I think he's hot. And he's perfectly ok with it. God. I do love him, but as a friend. He's the only thing I have going for me now.  
  
To say I love Takeru would be a gross understatement. I love Ken. I adore, I love, I admire, I can't live without, Takeru.  
  
Good job Daisuke, you've fucked it up again. Why couldn't this be simple? 


	4. TK

E-gads, a short one here. I just don't like writing Takeru.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dai, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back, I wish I could not do what I did. I ran, so fast. Right out of there.  
  
Dai, I don't know what to do. Am I even gay? I came to the realization I didn't like Hikari. Sure, I did it in a little akward way, but I don't want to talk about that. I don't even know what I feel anymore.  
  
I know that when I touch you, come into contact with you, my heart does some fucking funny things. I know that I could tell your scent from across the hallway.  
  
I always know when you enter a room.  
  
I know that I'm to afraid to look into your dark chocolate eyes. I know what I'll see. And it scares me.  
  
I know that I have no idea what is going on. 


	5. Dai

Yeah! Back to Dai-chan. I just love this guy!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My D-terminal is blinking.  
  
Should I answer the message? I don't know if I want to. What if it is from you? Part of me is screaming to run over there and read it. The part that says any contact with you whatsoever is to live for. The other part of me is screaming that it will hurt me more.  
  
Fuck, I don't want to be hurt anymore. But it could be you apologizing. It could be you saying you want me to come over. God, my mind is so dirty.  
  
I smacked myself. There I go again, running off with my fantasies. This is what got me into trouble in the first place. I thought that I would tell you how I feel and we would live forever in happiness.  
  
So much for that plan.  
  
The screaming voices in my head reach a feverish pitch, I have to decide.  
  
"FUCK!!!" I scream. I hope no one is home. Especially that bitch June. Probably running off with Yamato.  
  
Damn it. Now look what I did. I went and took my anger out on my sister. Why did I do that? June has always been there for me. She looked after me from the day I was born. My parents don't seem to care, but she always did. I figure her to be my surogate mother. I love her. My dear older sister. Why would I go after her?  
  
"Dai?" I heard June knock on the door.  
  
"Go away June."  
  
She opened the door and saw the tears down my face. "Oh Dai, what happened?"  
  
"He did the worst possible thing to me."  
  
"God Daisuke, I'm so sorry."  
  
I somehow found my way from my bed to the middle of the floor in my little tyraid, and she took me in her lap. It feels so good to have someone hold me and stroke my hair.  
  
"What did Takeru do, Dai?"  
  
I managed to get this out between sobs. "June. . . he left. He just left. I was. . . all alone."  
  
"Dai, shhh. Don't talk, just cry. I'm here for you."  
  
And so I did. I cried. I don't know how long we sat there, June rocking me and crying right along with me.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
E-gads! I am actually crying as I write this. And look! Look at June! I made her good! Good for me. I also beleive that I am the only author to spell out 'J-u-n-e' instead of taking the Japanese Jun. Wait a sec, I'm using the Japanese names. Oh well. I'll keep June.  
  
I can't stop crying. Geez. Authors shouldn't do this. 


	6. Take

If you haven't figured it out by now, Take-chan has the evens, Dai-chan has the odds. And I am not going to try honorifics because a)it is mainly thought anyway and b)I am afraid I would deeply offend someone. Although that would be kind of funny. . .  
  
Back to the story, The Little Angst That Could. And it's Take-chan again! And guess what! Short again! What a suprise.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I'm standing right here, right in front of your building. Should I go in? I know one thing, I am not going to run this time. I'm not going to. And I can't just stand here, people are starting to look at me funny. Especially that old woman waiting for a ride. She looks pissed.  
  
Damn it Takeru, just go in!  
  
But I can't, I really can't. Some irrational fear holds me out here, outside the onning, looking up to the window that shows your apartment. The light isn't on. Maybe you aren't home.  
  
Yes, you are. I know it.  
  
So I start to walk. Slowly at first, then a little faster. I reach the elevator. Then I just freeze. Fuck it.  
  
I don't think I can do this. 


	7. Motomiya

Yeah, so Takeru's chapters are a little short. He's more of an action guy anyway.  
  
Oh Dai-chan, so sorry for all this angsty stuff. I'll give you a comedy to make up for it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The doorbell rang. June didn't move. God bless her, sticking by my to the end.  
  
Then I remember the D terminal. Maybe Takeru messaged me to say he was coming over. . .  
  
No, there's my fantasy running away with me again.  
  
June broke the silence in my room. "Dai, do you want me to get it?"  
  
"No June. If it was him, I couldn't stand it."  
  
"It's alright Daisuke."  
  
So the doorbell just continued to ring. I counted at least 18 times before it stopped. I guess Takeru gave up. Ran again.  
  
Wait, did I say run? Again? I thought he walked away.  
  
No. He didn't. He ran. He must be afraid of me.  
  
Damn him.  
  
There's that doorbell again. This time it was 15 rings. Then it stopped again. I admit, whoever it is, probably Takeru, sure it adimant.  
  
I don't care, I don't want to get up. I'm comfortable here, being held by someone who loves me no matter what.  
  
Blood runs thicker than water anyway.  
  
I know June will always be there, like she is now. I would rather be here, shielded by June, than out there facing the raging river that is Takeru.  
  
Damn him, I repeat.  
  
Now there is pounding at the front door. June ignores it with me.  
  
I whisper a quiet "Thank you". I feel June nod when her head leaves the top of mine.  
  
The pounding stopped. Whoever it is is gone. Thank God.  
  
"Dai, you gonna be ok?"  
  
"Yes June."  
  
"Good. Are you going to be ok on your own?"  
  
"Yes June. Thank you."  
  
She got up, leaving me in a makeshift ball in the middle of the floor. She started to walk out. "Don't thank me Dai."  
  
"Ok." I whisper as she clicks me door shut.  
  
Alone again. I stretch out. I think I should do something. I can't lay here sprawled out like a corpse on my floor. Or can I? My D terminal starts to beep now. I guess that happens when you don't read your messages. So I take this as my excuse to get up. Not that I wanted to, but I should do something. I guess.  
  
I never really did figure out how to use this thing, even though Ken tried really hard. He wastes to much effort on me. I do know how to check messages though. Good for me.  
  
It's from Ken. He really does waste to much effort on me.  
  
I scan through it. 'Have any homework, do you want to come over' Ken cares to much. But going over and yelling at him would make me feel better.  
  
Ken is the best friend I have. Then there is June. June is like my mother, she takes care of me when I am sick and lets me spill my guts when I want to. Ken fills the role of my father and my friend. I can run over there at anytime of the day, scream my head off at him, and he just sits there and listens. Then he gives advice. And it's always good. He knows me way to well.  
  
His family even likes me. First of all, because they like the fact that their little boy has such a good friend. Second, they think of me as their son. It's charming. It does them good to have two children again. And third, they just adore me, for me. They think it's cute how I'm so outgoing and always with something to chatter about. And I like them, too. I try and find parents anywhere, as pathetic as that may sound.  
  
I wonder if life would be easier if I just liked Ken. 


	8. Takaishi

I would just like to say one thing. Look at the rating. See the R? Love the R. Wondering why it is R? Sex? Violence? Murder? No you sickos! It's the language! If you haven't noticed, I am averaging two F words per chapter. And I thought that was a little much for PG-13. So all of you hentai lovers that thought I was going to pull something, no wait, I should rephrase that, these people are hentai lovers. Think. . . . Ok, so let's just say that no one is getting any lemonade here. Only orange juice. I think that works. So either drink up or get out.  
  
Take-chan again. E-gads. I hate writing for this guy. Yes, I will admit it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I tried the door. He didn't answer. Oh sure, I could have ran like before. I could have, and my life would have probably been better for it. Then I wouldn't have gotten soaked standing out front. But I'll get to that later.  
  
Why did I stand there in front of Daisuke's apartment for a half an hour? It's because I heard him. I heard him inside there, and he was so scared. June tried to console him. She tried to hard, but Dai just sounded so weak. I couldn't keep hitting the door, but I couldn't leave.  
  
So I stood there, for what seemed to be an etenity. Long after the soft murmurs stopped. And then I turned. And walked right out. I gave up. Funny, the bearer of hope and I gave up. Really fucking funny.  
  
I walked down the stairs. I didn't bother taking the elevator. While I was walking I though back to my relationship with Hikari, trying to remember when I first started all of this mess.  
  
  
It was a given, Hikari and I would end up together. So we followed everyone's expectations and got involved. Daisuke had lightened up a bit on Hikari, and we got together. But there was no public displays, we wanted to spare Dai's feelings. After about a year, Hikari wanted to get serious. We were making out on the couch, all nice and fine, when she started tugging on my clothes. Eager little thing she was. And I closed my eyes. I didn't see her, I saw a guy. It didn't matter who, but it was a guy. Scared the living shit out of me. So I jumped off the couch, literally throwing her halfway across the room. I blinked several times, I probably was in shock. I wiped off my mouth with the back of my hand and straightened out my clothes. Then I looked at her on the floor. The person I thought I would end up with, in love, and I didn't. I hated her. I ran out of there.  
  
She actually stalked me after that. At first she was all pleading, saying 'Whatever I did I'm sorry, take me back.' And I didn't. I couldn't love her, no matter what. I just couldn't. Then she went full blown insane. She would call me at all hours, insisting that we should be together. She actually ordered me to get back together. I ignored her. She eventually stopped, but she looked at me with fire in her eyes.   
  
When I had supressed the tidbit of information that I might be gay, I tried going out with one of the hordes of girls that were drolling all over me. Just like Yamato. I don't know how he copes. So Hikari stalked her. Poor girl ran to me crying one day and broke up with me. She said that once I got rid of the crazy bitch she would go out with me. I laughed it off, which pissed off Hikari even more. Now we aren't on speaking terms, and I don't care.  
  
  
I reached the bottom of the stairs and my train of thought was interupted. It had started to rain, and the clear doors of the main floor were clouded with sleet. I walked outside.  
  
I was completely and immediately soaked. It went down to the bone and joined the chill that was already there. I stood there and starred at the sky.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ha! Look how long I made that! I actually wrote Take-chan! Good for me. Yup, Hikari's a bitch. Come on, you already knew that. And June is a sweet, caring rolemodel. I like this fic. ^_^ 


	9. Jun

Nope, no notes for this one. Be glad I spared you. Two more chapters left.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I decided I had to do something. Screaming at Ken seemed to be my best option. Everytime I went there, I always ended up completely turned around.  
  
He always seemed to completely blow my mind, never fail. I go there with a problem and I end up thinking the world is great.  
  
Ken is the one that made me realize I didn't like Hikari. He's the one that helped me throught my feelings when I got fed-up with lying in my bed with insomnia.  
  
So I decided Ken could help me. June had at least knocked me into coherancy. Thank god for that.  
  
And I got up. June saw me leave. She figured I was going to Ken's. It was like clockwork.  
  
1)Dai get problem. 2)Dai go to June. 3)Dai get better. 4)Dai scream at Ken. 5)Dai all better.  
  
Crude, but true. I think June and Ken have conferences about me. Because recently I have gone to Ken with a problem and he already knew it. Either he is psychic, or he is talked to June. I prefer the later. I don't want him reading people's thoughts.  
  
And my suspicions were confirmed. I went back to get my D terminal after I left the first time, in case a certain someone wanted to talk to me, and saw June on the phone. I listened silently for a while before going to my room. And I heard June talking to Ken. At least someone cares.  
  
I decided against letting June know I was there, so I sneaked quietly into my room. I got it and walked out the door, just as silently.  
  
And so I got in the elevator, and checked my pocket for the cash I would need for the train ride.  
  
I smoothed down my blue vest and pressed the button for the bottom floor.  
  
The elevator smoothly lowered to the basement and felt the blood rush to my head. Ouch. Now my head hurts. Damn migrane.  
  
The doors whoshed open and I stepped out. I looked out the large, clear windows and found it was raining.  
  
"Fuck." I whispered quietly to myself as I punched one clenched fist into the palm of my other hand. "Fuck."  
  
But I wasn't about to go all the way upstairs to get an umbrella and risk being caught by June. So I walked outside to the onning. The rain was almost horizontal, but somehow it didn't get to me. I remained relitively dry. So what if I'm wet, the Ichijouji's won't care. Ken will just offer me some dry clothing, and I'll be fine. He really does care to much. Miyako and I joke about it all the time. Apparently he is just as bad to her.  
  
I hope they will be happy. I should really do something for them. Ken does his best to keep me sane on a daily basis. The least I could do is further his relationship with Miyako.  
  
I was about to get going when reality came crashing down, right on my head. I saw the one thing I feared the most, Takeru, looking right at me. Fuck. I started a dead sprint down the street. This time, -I- ran. 


	10. Yamato

No, it doesn't actually have anything to do with Yamato, just like the other one didn't have much to do with Jun. I just ran out of names.  
  
  
  
  
  
I never thought he would ever come out of his house again. But sure enough, he came out, not more than 20 feet in front of me. It took him a while to see me. Then he ran. I wasn't really suprised by what he did. Hell, I had done it not more than 4 hours ago.  
  
But it hurt, deep down it hurt. The fact he saw me, and then he ran. Gives me an idea of what he felt. I can't beleive I did that to him.  
  
So I relied on my reflexes and instincts for the second time in one night. I ran after him. Maybe that was a bad idea.  
  
Basketball had done my body some good, but no match for Daisuke's many years of soccer. And he had a head start.  
  
But I had motovation, and I had hope. I was supposed to have it. Plus I was slightly taller. At least something was in my favor.  
  
I ran. Real fast. I beleive it was the fastest I had ever ran. I'm sure I broke some sort of record. But I wasn't really concerned with that. I was concerned with catching him.  
  
I wasn't sure I knew where he was going. But something told me he was going to Ken's. It happened to be a little more than far off, by Dai would be damned if he wasn't going to run that whole way.  
  
Unless he was running to the train. Then I would be pretty fucked, because I didn't have any cash with me. So I added an extra burst of speed and came within about 5 feet of Daisuke.  
  
He whirled around, for a split second, and kept running. He was losing energy fast, considering he was working harder because he had shorter legs. The advantage he had from soccer was losing ground.  
  
But Dai wasn't about to let me catch him. He just kept on running, kept on fighting. That's when I decided to make a pretty screwed up move. I added yet another burst of energy and tackled the poor guy.  
  
With my arms securely around his waist, I pinned him to the ground. I had caught him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh dear, whatever will poor Dai-chan do? I am the author, and I already know, but I'll be damned if I'm going to tell you. 


	11. Courage

Back to Dai-chan. Sque.  
  
Ending. Finally. And I am fully aware that I am a damn slower writer when it comes to endings. More swearing. Yeah. Anybody else notice how unenthused I am? Saving it for the chapter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He caught me. Years of being a star athelete and he was better at that, too. And it hurt, when my jaw clipped shut when it hit the ground. Good thing we were at some sort of park though, I would have been even more pissed if I had hit some concrete.  
  
Hell, at least the guy has good timing.  
  
It hurt none the less. He pinned me down by putting his hands on my shoulders and basically sitting on my stomach.  
  
Did he not here me when I said I was attracted to him?  
  
Sure was adimant. He keep trying to get me to look him in the eye, and that was not going to happen. Because then I would probably loose my resolve. Either that or kiss him, or jump him, or a number of other things that shouldn't have been going through my mind at that point, but were.  
  
I tried rolling back and forth to get him to slide off. I tried kneeing him in the back, but that did nothing to help either of us. I was quickly running out of options.  
  
"Dai, for godssake, will you stop squirming?"  
  
"No!" My head was whipping back at forth, because his hand had left my right shoulder and was trying to grab my jaw. I breifly thought of escaping because my right side was free, and then he put his knee on my forearm.  
  
Not only ow, but OW. Way to rain on a guy's parade.  
  
"Watching you squirm is SO delicious."  
  
What the hell? My head stopped moving. What the hell? What the hell? First off, hearing Takeru speak with an evil tone and a smirk on his face is just wrong. Very wrong. And then he had the balls to quote Ken?  
  
This was weird.  
  
I decided to go for it, and look him in the eye.  
  
You know what I saw? Lust. Takeru Takashi with lust in his eyes. That was the second thing that was terribly wrong.  
  
"Take-"  
  
All I could get out. He leaned down, put his tongue in my open mouth, and kissed me.  
  
Takeru was kissing me! I would have done a happy dance, but I was pinned down. Only now, it wasn't nearly as bad as before.  
  
His tongue swirled around mine, sucked on it, he ran his tongue over my teeth, and finally pulled away when he was running out of air.  
  
"So. . . how are you?"  
  
I didn't answer. What I would have said was- 'Crappy, stupid, like I missed something, creeped out, incredibly horny, craving another kiss. . .' Instead I closed the inch wide gap between us and kissed him, pulling every move that he used on me.  
  
We sat like that for a while, taking turns ravishing each other's mouths, getting totally and completely soaked. Takeru and I both had colds for the next month, without bothering to tell anyone exactly how we received them.  
  
And now for the happy ending, because everyone always asks for the story of Daisuke Motomiya-Takaishi. I really would like to tell you, but I beleive my name speaks for itself.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The end! Finally. Thanks to Rae, who somehow inspired me to finish this damn monstosity. I guess that whole thing about being my own worst critic is true. . .  
  
Please review and make Daisuke Motomiya-Takaishi happy! 


End file.
